Help Me Find Chris Pardee

Two years ago I wrote this blog entry hoping to track down a person I met in Morocco back in 2008.
That didn't amount to anything, so now I'm trying video. Now you can all get a good look at me and see me cry! That should be worth the view.

So if you can share this video with everyone you know, maybe we'll find him. Surely one of the wonderful travel community has met him. Or maybe I was just special :)





EDIT: I'm talking about the Chris Pardee listed here: http://www.vijayanagara.org/html/Participants.html and not the younger one from Virginia, who is much more notorious.

EDIT 2: We found him! Thanks to everyone who helped! 

Money and Time

Nothing like planning travel with other people to make me appreciate why I usually go alone. With the exception of my hubby, who is easy to travel with as long as he has a bottle of Dramamine and special ear plugs, I just lack patience for waiting on other people. Timing is always an issue. Money and time - the big travel killers or enablers. It's rare to get everyone on board at the same time with that special mix of money and time.


I've been trying to maximize my time with my friends, while maximizing my time in each country and I think one thing will have to give. Which means time in each country will end up taking precedence over the friends. Sorry dudes! Luckily, these aren't guys with giant egos. I think they both understand I'm there to get certain things accomplished and that's it.

But really, I can only humanly do so much. Dfly has already been to Korea, so I will likely go alone. However, he may come with me to Kyoto and then stay there longer, which is a great idea. I am looking forward to the idea of a 3-hour train ride with him - catching up and shooting the shit. (For those who don't know, Dfly and I traveled to Yemen and Paris together, so we have experience with this)

I guess distance and 13-hour time differences don't help when it comes to planning either, but we are messaging, emailing, Skyping, Facetiming....I laugh because not all of that existed when Pt left for China over 10 years ago. Phone calls were the most amazing thing (I actually got a special long-distance plan to include China).

Even with me offering to pay for certain things, time still remains an issue. At the same time, it's because of these friends that I'm venturing out there in the first place. I see it as a once in a lifetime trip - the stars will probably never align quite the same way again to give me two amazing friends in two amazing countries, who can both speak a bit of the language there. Not everything will be perfect, but it will still be worth it!

Where Are They Now?

The great thing about solo travel is it's easy to meet a lot of different people on similar journeys. The plus side is if you don't get along, you never have to see that person ever again. I guess the downside is losing touch with a person you made a great connection with, as is what happened to me.

In November 2008, I was stressed out with life. I had recovered from my third miscarriage and was told I only had a one in four chance of having a child. I was caring for my father, who was then dying from Parkinson's disease. I also recently left a stressful job I hated. I didn't know what else to do but run away from it all and get a different perspective, so I booked myself a solo trip to London and Morocco.

At 4am, I was the first to arrive at the departure lounge at Luton airport for a Ryanair flight to Marrakesh. I was on my mobile phone chatting with my husband when an older gentleman walked in, put his bag down at the front of the line and sat down on seats somewhere else. I found this odd and I found him odd. Everyone else lined up, though I didn't bother because I already knew how Ryanair boarding works and there's really no point; I don't care what seat I get. The Odd Man walked up to his bag on the floor and into the front of the line. I thought nothing else of it at that point.

Our flight got diverted to Agadir because of fog and we all got stuck on to buses back to Marrakesh. I checked into my hostel that night and went to sleep. When I got up for breakfast that morning, who else was at the table but the Odd Man! He was loudly talking about his travel plans - he wanted to head to the desert - so did I, but I wasn't about to share a car with a loud, obnoxious American. That was my first impression of him and I ignored him. I decided I wasn't going to head to the desert then and instead boarded a bus for Essaouira that afternoon.

On the bus back from Essaouira to Marrakesh, I texted my hubby to help find me some accommodation ahead of time because I was arriving at night and hadn't booked anything. From Canada, he booked me into a lovely riad deep in the souq of Djemaa el-Fnaa. I finally found it late that night and went straight to bed. The next day I was sick - something I ate, I suppose - and didn't leave my room until late afternoon. The night after that, upon returning from supper, I walked into the riad and was met by a familiar face - the Odd Man. I made a joke and accused him of following me. He said, "no, you must be following me!" and we started talking.

We talked late into the wee hours of the morning. I was freezing (we were in the court yard of the riad), but he was captivating. I told him of my father and my stresses and he helped me put things into perspective. If I hadn't had to pack and get ready for my early flight that morning, I'm sure we'd still be there talking! I left him my card with my info, but he never contacted me and I never saw him again.

They say people come into your life for "a reason, a season or a lifetime," and I presume he just came into mine for a reason, but I'd like to tell him I'm alright now. My dad has since passed on and I've had the child I've always wanted. Everything is less stressful now and for some reason I feel compelled to tell him he has made a difference to me.

That's where you come in! All I know is he is a retired architecture professor named Christopher Pardee. He is American, but lives in England. He's divorced, he has grown children and he spends his free time travelling. If you see him, please tell him he helped me a lot. Or maybe share this blog post with him. I don't expect to hear from him, but if you let me know you spoke to him, I will be happy. He probably won't even remember me, but that's ok. It's the thought that counts :)

And if you ever meet a really cool person, make sure you also get their contact info.

5 Benefits of Traveling Alone

Not that you needed any reasons to go it alone, but here are some reminders or insights that might give you the push you need!

1) FREEDOM!!
Think of the open road, the wind in your hair. You get such a wonderful sense of freedom when you travel alone.
You can't hear the phone ring or the kids crying. Hopefully, work can't track you down and bother you. If you take a vacation alone, there should be no ties, chains or tethers to stop you. Enjoy the freedom.

2) Confidence Boost!
Traveling alone really helps to boost your confidence and I think women need this a lot more than men do. Often we (as well as society) tell ourselves we're too small or not strong enough, not smart enough or any number of negative things.
When you have to rely on yourself, you can see just how capable and resourceful you are. Even if you're the type of person who is always prepared, fearless and in control, travel will always push you that little bit more to remind you how amazing you really are.
If you're a little scared before leaving and think you might not be able to handle it, sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other is a challenge, but go slowly and the confidence will build. Remember that life doesn't put anything in front of you that you're unable to handle. Keep your thoughts in the present moment and trust that you can handle anything that comes your way.

The last time I went off by myself, I was reminded of a quote by Goethe - "the sooner you trust yourself, the sooner you know how to live." I felt I needed to remember that always, so I got it tattooed to my wrist. Remembering to trust myself got me through the times I was scared and in doubt. I came back with more confidence than ever.

3) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
We're all creatures of habit and travel takes us through all sorts of new and different climates, cultures, timezones, food and schedules - we have no choice but to take a few chances here and there and try something new. The benefit of getting out of your comfort zone is that you, as above, gain more confidence and new skills. It helps you understand what you really like and what you hate. From there you can learn what you want and don't want, in general.
You have to give up control and old habits and learn a new way sometimes. In the end, it will make you more flexible and adaptable in life. Great skills to put on a curriculum vitae! Don't ever underestimate the value of travel for your career and education.

4) Meet More People
A great benefit to travel is meeting new people, especially locals. Often they have tips for the best restaurants and places to see. They can also help you avoid scams. (Just be careful who you become friends with.)
As a loner, it's easier to meet other lone travelers or couples. Often people take pity on us (they don't have to!) and think we're lonely, so they'll invite us solo chickies to join them. (There are also times when you will truly be lonely and be more than happy to join others!)
If you take a tour as a singleton, you may be matched up with other singles for seating arrangements and such. No matter which way you meet people, I simply find it's easier to do it when you're not already with a group of friends (people tend to get cliquish and exclusionary) because it's less intimidating for the other person you're meeting.

Also, if you think you're the shy type at home, you might be surprised how you open up when you travel. I'm not the social butterfly type at home, but when I travel I become Ms. Friendly and talk to everyone. I just find it fun to get all sorts of info and perspectives on where I'm
going.

The other benefit of meeting travel friends is that you can dump/avoid them the minute you want to be alone again. I know that sounds mean, but it's true. You don't owe them anything and you don't have to keep in contact or ever see them again if you don't want to.
On the upside, you might meet someone great and have a free place to stay the next time you visit ;)

5) No Compromising!
This one is probably the best - you don't have to compromise with anyone. You have an excuse to be selfish and do only what YOU want to do.
You can go at your own pace or change plans on a whim. Want to sleep in your hotel room all day? No one will make you feel guilty for "wasting" the day or not enjoying the sites.
You don't have to fight with anyone to choose a restaurant; you can eat when, where and what you want.
You don't have to go see sights you get care to see or pay entrance fees for things you're not really interested in.
If you want to buy a strange and overpriced souvenir, no one can talk you out of it.
You don't have any travel partners you have to worry about slowing you down or getting sick or injured.
If you want to sing loudly in your car or walk around naked in your hotel room, you can.

Traveling alone is a time of complete indulgence, hedonism and selfishness, but for balance in our lives, we need that every once and a while :)

So go take on the world alone! Relax, unwind, unplug and have fun!