Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Married Women Do It. Do You?

I read this great post by another married solo woman traveler (and I think she's even a Qu├ębecoise native also!). There must be something in the water here.

In the comments of that article, someone questioned, "what's the point of being married if you're going to be independent?"

What's the point of anything? LOL

Why wouldn't I suddenly want or need my autonomy? Why would I want to lose myself? Why would I want my husband to dictate where or when I leave the house? Why would I want to be with a man who doesn't allow me to live out my dreams or support me in that? Why would I want to be with a man who has no desire or ambition to follow his own dreams?

Why are women going along with this idea that they must stop desiring anything for themselves the minute they get married?

Men go off alone every day. They travel alone all the time. Why is it acceptable for them and not us?

To add another element, I have a kid. I didn't lose myself in motherhood anymore than I lost myself to marriage. So not only do I leave my husband when I travel (and he's a grown man, he can take care of himself!), I choose to leave my child also.

I choose to teach  my son that women can be strong. I choose to teach my son that woman can live their dreams. I choose to teach my son that women can be independent. I choose to teach my son that even though someone he loves may leave him now and then, she will come back refreshed and with new ideas and things to teach him. I choose to be a role model to teach him to trust himself. To inspire him to explore the world on his own and discover new things about himself.
I cannot always be with him and at some point I will have to be left standing at the airport, watching him go off on his own, tears in my eyes.

1 comment:

space2live said...

Independent endeavors of married/with children women are still not wholly embraced by society. I feel this frustration every day. I am a now divorced mother of three. My children are always priority one but I want them to know that women can be nurturers AND adventurers.